I have always had really vivid colourful dreams and I sometimes find it hard to tell the difference between whats real and what I've seen when I'm sleeping. When I was little I was convinced I saw a hot air balloon with Riff Raffs inflated head on the garage roof and no-one could convince me otherwise, I'm still not sure if it was a dream or not. Then there was the time I didn't speak to my friend Jenny Gullam for three days because I had dreamt I had restyled her pubic hair.
I called this project Digestive Movement because I once had a very nice lady friend who was a colonic irrigationist, she told me that my rich, vibrant, colourful dreams weren't anything special it was just too much food wiggling its way through my tummy throughout the night.
I have over 300 dreams written down, from the last 6 years and now I'm going to post a dream whenever I can and illustrate a part of it.
PLEASE CLICK ON THE UNDERLINED LINK IN THE TEXT IN EACH DREAM AND IT WILL TAKE YOU TO THE ILLUSTRATION.
Dream 21: 29/07/10
I am in a car, I am driving to a hotel. The bed in the hotel bedroom is a small swimming pool, I am swimming in the water. The restaurant in the hotel is called the 'Restaurant Amnesity'. I am moving house next door to a place called the 'Lung Centre'. I am driving around town with Ian White, a friend my dad used to have. I get out of the car and look at the pavement. There are tiles on some steps and there are small newts crawling about on them. There are five different bathrooms under the stairs. I see a dwarf with a very long tongue, he can make dance, he is called the Dancer of Tongues, a small green car is flying near to him. There is a big vibrator in the room it is perverse, someone implies having sex with the dwarf. I say no. I am told he comes from a Victorian family, he writes me a love letter in glitter, my parents find the letter, I am thrown out of my house and have a talk with my sisters.
Dream 20: 27/07/10
I am at a train station, I am with my sisters ex-boyfriend Chris, he is laughing. A younger handsome version of John Snow the news reporter is flirting with me. My granny is there are she has very red eyes she is lying on a plastic curtain in the middle of a swimming pool. My family is crying. Miranda, my aunt is having lunch by the swimming pool, there has been a death in the family, everyone has very red eyes from crying. There is a stone statue of a woman giving a man a blowjob. Bobs my friend is hiding secret papers in a rucksack.
Dream 19: 21/07/10
I have invited my friend Heidar on holiday. My dad is on a lower level of hotel in his underwear. His friend Toni Collette is wearing my sunglasses. I am in a singing competition, I am picking out a skirt to wear. I go to look out of the window, I see London by night, I see a black girl with purple hair in a yellow belly dancing outfit she is holding a blood stained broomstick. The backstreet boys are signing records, in a very simple changing room.
Dream 18: 20/07/10
I am at a job interview with ny friend Txema. We are first to be interviewed and it finishes quickly. The interviewers are unimpressed. I stay on at the place I am being interviewed which is a wooden office with crystal windows for an advert they are filming for 1800 which is a type of Holy Water sold to hospitals, Fievel Mousekewitz will star in the advert, he is wearing a talking badge.
We film the advert. I am given a piece of paper that says 18x10, 18000k. A woman has had an abortion, it has leaked onto the floor and it looks like egg whites. Danielle Moffat, a girl I used to go to school with has an interview she has to sing a song. She is under a spotlight that turns from red to grey. I am watching from a window overlooking a corridor. I am having lunch at my old school, it is wet croissants, cheese and ham. Mr Veloso my old Spanish teacher has made pomegranate juice, and prepared something called Bon Nadal sweets, they hang from the doorknob. My friend Txema has turned into my dad. There are sheep in a barn they are making squawking sounds, I feed them cheese, there are raccoons, worms and stripy birds. I see monks in a courtyard. There is French guy he is a photographer, he has long hair, a red leather jacket and is sitting on the grass. My dad has now become Serge Gainsboroug, he is talking photos. I start to kiss the french guy. Rachel and Becky are there they have their periods. We are in a hotel room it is very white. we are going to have dinner at 3.15. A girl is there, she moves away because we are talking about her boob job. I am in a dark Victorian courtyard, I am lost I can't find my family, I am kissing someone, it is implied I am slutty, Txema is watching, I tell him to go impregnate his wife.
Dream 17: 13/07/10
I am eating something called 'Cholorophyl Pine Nuts' they are pine nuts but they are green. I see a grey man at a window. I am falling into a sea of mud, I am with Pamela Anderson. I have broken a baby. I am upstairs in a room full of furniture. There is a black girl called Shanella in the room with me. We see a white long haired cat with a little jockey man riding on its back. I am having a flashback, in the flashback I am seeing statues coming to life, the statues are very big. I am having a picnic on the side of the street with my family.
Dream 16: 12/07/10
I am at Framewood Manor walking around the gardens it looks the same as when I lived there when I was little but different at the same time. My job is to keep my mothers secret cupboard tidy. In the garden is a statue of a saint with a chickens head sacrificed on it. I go back to house and ask if friends can come over at the weekend, there is a buffet in kitchen, with every food in the world, and specialising in every different type of rhubarb. In the fridges are spiders and rats running around on each others backs. There are monkeys in fridges and they are all alive. I pick one out and it is put in my bowl. I go and hand it to the chefs but I change my mind and ask the chef if I can and what will happen and she drowns the baby gorilla. I tell her ''thats not right, thats murder'', she says ''you were going to eat it''. I'm shocked by the buffet. it looks like a zoo, a sexy lady who is half chicken half woman is smoking a long cigarette.
Dream 15: 11/07/10
I am in a cooking class inside an old abandoned warehouse. Me and my sister Rachel eat everyone elses food while then briefly leave the room. I am on the bus with Nachi, Jordi a friend of ours is with us and he is showing us his penis, Nachi and I are sitting next to each other. I am in the airport, on the tarmac. I meet a woman and her husband. She has just given birth on the tarmac right beside an airplane, over a huge buffet of assorted currys, she is naked and has her legs spread wide open
Dream 14: 09/07/10
I am in a big house with a big swimming pool, the house has an assistant and he loves my drawings, next door to my house lives a family of black people and they have their own cult. I go over to see the house two of the girls come out and greet me, they are twins and they both share a huge afro, they are carrying a fat silver Japanese baby which has an eyeball balloon in its hand, we all take a look up in the air at a storm and there is lightening over our heads, in the street where we live there are chickens in cages, there is a cage of angry, bright orange mice. The twins chase me through the house, I find my sister Becky hiding in a party upstairs, it is a party for Mtv and Hollyoaks, on the wall there are posters, they say "who is Coby Curie? we must expose him..." Becky and I take one off the walls, a blonde tall man comes up to us, he is angry about something but he tells me he loves Becky. The room is full of people dressed up in fancy expensive clothes and lots of make up, there are a group in the corner wearing army clothes with holes exposing private areas, they have busted up mouths and eyes. I go out onto a terrace and jump over the side of it onto the rocks.
Dream 13: 08/07/10
I am at Placa de Sants in a hotel, I am wearing leggings and nothing else, my surroundings look a bit like India, I am scared, something is going on, for some reason I know it is called a 'Porno War', my dog Julie is talking to me. I have left the hotel on rollerskates, I have met up with my dad he is transfering money to Kent Houston, a friend of mines dad for an Australian holiday. I am holding a young boys hand, I am leading him to a place called the 'Health Hotel', it has pianos for stairs, my dad is chatting up a very fat lady, it is raining on the stairs, I walk outside I am looking at the grave of a frog, someone has left gold offerings on top of it as a sacrifice to him.
Dream 12: 07/07/10
I am a wait staff at a place called Calles which is half boat half hotel, I am going on a coach ride, we are driving over green mountains and over rocks, on the coach is Charlotte Porter and Lauren Pobjoy old friends I used to have from school. We go to a restaurant, I am wearing sexy high heels, and eating a sandwich, someone makes me an expresso from a machine. I am reading a political cartoon about the King and Queen are having sex and then they appear in front of me having sex, a soldier arrives he is filming them. The soldier shows us what is on the inside of a shark, I am writing things down about myself, I am nervous I have written the words 'dancing tunic', the soldier has bright red hair. Five giant silver babies appear they are chasing us, they fire a gun, I am on the road and see Spiderman. I enter a thempark called Lil Kim World, A baby in a pram is running after us, they baby has peanut butter on his hands, I see an old man crying. My sister Rachel is standing on a beautiful bridge.
Dream 11: 06/07/10
I am looking at a gold plated Hitler he is shooting at me from the bus-stop, it is being filmed for a movie, I am watching a cat and mouse chase. Gwyneth Paltrow is naked and we are lying next to each other on top of two tomb stones in the centre of town near the gold Hitler. My sister Becky throws spaghetti on my Mac computer, I'm very angry with her, and she's angry at my mum for telling her to do it. I am watching a movie called 'Tales' in Gracia, I have seen it before, I am watching it in a house I look out of the window and see lots of famous people arriving at a secret beach, I am with Constance Farthing an old school friend, we walk into the bathroom, it is very small there is no way you can pee in the cubicles because of the size, I have no idea how to use the toilet, next to the loo is a jewel encrusted toilet brush. there is a woman giving birth to several babies in the corner, I can't see her face only her legs she is behind a curtain with her family.
Dream 10: 10/06/10
I am walking down a street in Tonbridge Wells, I see a homeless girl straddling and kissing some homeless looking junkies on a bench, the men are very dirty. I start crying when I see her and fall to my knees I open my bag and get out money to give to her I see a twenty euro note but I don't want to give it her and look back in my bag and get out a euro instead, I don't give it to her I just walk away. I am at a wedding reception and there is a voice narrating. Jay Manuel from Americas Next Top Model is there and he is reciting a text, the homeless girl is there and she is being strange and shouting, she gets a gun from the table and blows her brains out with a gun, The narrating voice speaks and says '... and that is the true story of sinister behaviour'. I am wearing a hat that is a very high-heeled boot that covers my face, the American flag is printed on the boot and it has a mesh over my face. I am at my house with Nachi, my parents are sleeping in a tiny room in the middle of the flat. Me and Nachi find a secret room in the house and wonder why we have never slept there before. Nachi is wearing a 80s punk outfit with suspenders and small denim cut up shorts. Nachi rubs my face in pink clay.
Dream 9: 08/06/10
I take off my socks and see that my foot is rotten, I smell my toes and they smell like potato crisps and I taste my toes and they taste salty, I have an ingrowing toenail which is black and looks like a small toenail coming from the corner of the big toe.
Dream 8: 29/04/10
I am interviewed for a magazine, I am outside my house in London on a cordless phone asking to receive the magazine at my house, the person I speak to tells me to come and pick it up. I am given a clear bag with two pigs feet inside it.
Dream 7: 28/02/10
I am the manager of a band made with the heads of coconuts their instruments are also made of coconuts and their songs are amazing. They are playing an outdoor concert and there are six girls in the front row wearing bikinis, they have huge breasts and they are jumping up and down. Jarvis Cocker and Damon Albarn are in the audience watching my coconut band. Everyone in the audience is cheering. My friend Bianca is throwing waffles into a small pond next to where the audience is.
Dream 6: 27/02/10
Robert de Niro is my new boss and I'm giving him a blowjob. I'm am in my bedroom it is on calle Ferran. Alice Moss and her friend are in my bed. Nachi is sitting naked in a store. A young redhead man comes over to talk to me. I go to the boiler room in my flat. I look out of my window and see lots of gay men hanging their dicks out of their windows. Its 6 o'clock, I remember that all the gay men stick their dicks out the window at this time so that they can sleep together. I run to tell Nachi about it and he's in bed with three men. I start beating him up and crying. I am leaving him and won't let him get in the car which has pulled up to take me away.
Dream 5: 31/12/09
I am fishing with a creature that is half fish on top and half fish on the bottom, he has bright blue eyes. He is wearing socks made out of marijuana leaves. The creature whispers to me "grandad, makes you foamy". We walk to a fish restaruant when we get there the maitre de has killed his wife with huge fish bones, he throws the bones into the air, me and the fish creature run to catch the train.
Dream 4: 12/12/09
I have been away, I am a student at a Jewish University in the UK, they only speak Hebrew, it reminds me a lot like Brunel University where I studied for a year. I am walking through the corridors where I see an old boyfriend coming out of a toilet door, I walk up to him and we talk, he explains that after I left he started seeing Lauren Pobjoy, I am furious, I walk further up the corridor to where Lauren lives in a grey concrete stairwell with a view overlooking the car park and some of the city. I shout out to her that I am furious, she comes up the stairs and is all friendly, I punch her face and we start scrapping. Opposite the toilet door is a door that leads into a theater, I hear a loud noise when I hear that noise I know that every time it sounds a man in a white horse costume jumps down over three theater tiers and lies with its neck twisted in a red velvet theater box with its behind in the air. Inside the theater I talk with the old boyfriend he is very English looking with blondey brown hair, washed out jeans, square pointed loafers and an argyle sweater vest. He looks like someone I might have found attractive about fifteen years ago, facially speaking. He is angry with both of us for fighting. There is a feeling of impending doom in the air, the theater seats are full. Sitting in a row in the theater seats with a few other people placed in between them, are seven Spanish looking men with black curly hair and Manu, I recognize all the men some I have slept with, some I have seen walking in the streets. The faces of these men turn a bright white, they start to speak and say they had caught a deadly virus three days ago and now they are all going to die, they explain that as we have been with them in the theater we are all gonna die too. We suddenly all cock our heads and I think we are dead, I have died temporarily we all wake up in unison and clap. Lauren is there, I want her to leave, she is all over the boyfriend, the scene changes people start to leave the theater, but not Lauren. The theater looks different there are now tiered steps on grass instead of theater seats and we are looking at an empty stage, there are rugby players in cooking aprons showing their bare bottoms whilst barbecuing sausages on the grass. We are all watching them as they cook and dance to the radio, Lauren is all over the boyfriend I am furious. I look back and see my friend Martin Cole with blond hair, sitting next to his twin, I wave at the twin he nudges Martin and Martin waves at me. I pour a jug of water over Laurens head and run, I run to wear she lives in the car park. I am at the end of the car park and stick my head through a metal gate. I have no key to open the gate and can't let myself through, I see a small black child paying for a parking ticket at a machine she is alone, she cant be more than seven years old. Behind her a fat short black security guard walks, the child startles the security guard and he lays on the ground holding a rifle and shoots the child through the heart. I run away with tears streaming down my face, the part of the car park where I am is full of police they are asking everyone who is in the car park to get into two queues witnesses or not witnesses. I am just about to leave the scene. I am hysterical and frightened, I walk up to a police man and I'm crying out to him "what if I saw, What if I saw". The police man takes me with him to room in the car park, we walk through back passages and he asks me to explain what I saw. The murderer security guard walks past and I shout "that's him", another policeman says he'll take him in. The guard says he knows my face and he'll break out of the cell and kill me. There is a kind lady policeman and she takes me to her house, she lives in open air in the car park which has a ceiling like the night sky, and a train track passes through her tiny garden filled with cockroaches of all different shapes colours and sizes. We look over at the cell where the guard is held and he has chewed through the bars and is escaping, he runs down the train track with a thin white woman on his arm, she has a heavy fringe and she looks like a crack addict. She falls into swampy water filled with brown dead leaves and drowns, my friend the female police officer shoots the guard in the head.
Dream 3: 03/12/09
I am wearing a leopard skin belt with strings of pearls to the floor and a red shaggy wig, I own my own store that sells candles made of good luck trolls. The shop is full of vintage dresses, huge pieces of jewellery and sparkly make up. My assistant is a woman called ‘Lady Candela’ she has a dress made of different flowers and wears a straw Moroccan hat on her head, underneath her dress she wears complicated bondage lingerie with real silver hooks and straps. In the store I also sell sock hats which are actual socks you where on your head, they come in every single colour. There are some that are in a section called ‘Gemonic’ sock hats which means they have jewels on them.
Dream 2: 22/11/09
I'm in a farmers market where a lady is collecting people with special needs and showing them into a van. I have a huge mosquito bite on my finger. The whole finger is green and swollen with an acid green foam coming out of it. I'm in my flat in a small pink room with peeling walls. There is a giant bottle with the words 'cheap lubricant' written on the side if it. In the main room there are a huge collection of human size dinosaurs and aliens. A man walks out of the wall with a large sword in his hand and decapitates two statues one of me and one of Ricky Gervais. There are girls sitting on the floor of the main room throwing clothes away in the corner of the room there is a large red sofa. I am escaping from my old boarding school Benenden, I’m having an affair with a teacher. I'm going to the nearby village there I see my dad having an affair with Scarlett Johansson. Nadia a girl from my design school is in my house she is selling chocolates and underpants.
Dream 1: 21/11/09
I am in a dark and crowded Hip Hop club, I am on the dance floor dancing with my Spanish teacher Miss Moore from my old school. It's a really small room and its filled with older people, suddenly they are all cramming to get out of the two small doors at the back. We both push through and finally get run through one of the doors. We see a train and we both know it is going to East London. There are two elderly women on the train and they are sleeping behind me. I get off the train and call Robert who is an employee of my dads, my dad tells me he is going to fire Robert because of his bad plumbing work (Robert is not a plumber in real life). I'm in a small room looking through large piles of books, I find a book called 'The Dudua guide to Catalan history' there are also several books about Pomba Gira. Robert takes the form of a large white man and him and a strange man I've never seen known as his business partner are trying to kill me using a large metal wrecking ball. Their eyes are flashing blue and red, over the side of the building they are throwing huge bits of plaster and rubble. The business partner turns into blonde woman/Ruth from Hollyoaks shes really psychotic and threatens to kill me. I’m sitting on an outside terrace with lots of steps leading up to it, another Northerner joins me and sits with me. I'm in a prison cell when comes in Joe Jonas offering me heated up liver on a silver tray.